We all have long term goals. Some of us want to lose weight, gain weight, get stronger, get faster, run farther, look better, fit into some old clothes, have better blood work, more lung capacity, more balance, or whatever it may be. Why? Because we believe it will give some kind of meaning to our lives.
Everyone talks about what to do to stay on track to keep working toward your goals but I rarely see anybody ever talk about or mention what to do when you actually achieve your goals. Sure you can celebrate your victory and enjoy the moment. Yet, that’s all it is really…just a moment. It is rare to read or hear about what happens after the end of the story. I think that’s the case because it is super depressing after the end due to the realization that something that meant so much to you and gave you so much meaning is now over and hardly anything happened as a result of this achievement. So, a good story must obviously have a proper ending or closure if you will. Let’s consider a couple of examples of what I’m talking about.
Here is an example: And after a year of hard training, discipline, and dedication Jane Doe finally lost 50 lbs of fat and wore a bikini to the beach for the first time ever! She had overcome her anxiety and fear of judgment of how she looked and did it! This was something that plagued her life for the past several years and she finally overcame it through hard work and determination. She even hired a personal trainer (wink wink…nudge nudge). After her big reveal at the beach Jane then asked herself…”Now what?”…and just like that it all became the past and there is now an empty void ahead of her. So she just sat quietly at the beach and watched the waves come and go and tanned in the sun for a while. What will she do now?
Here is another example: John Smith scored his last collegiate touchdown during the last 30 seconds of his last college football conference championship game and now he is officially retired from the sport. Their team won! There was a trophy. There was a big party with his teammates. He had completed his collegiate career. Now he decided he was going to relax for a month because now he didn’t have the responsibilities of following the regimented schedule of a college athlete. By the end of the month he realized that he didn’t have anything else to occupy his time. Even just working out didn’t seem to do the trick. He didn’t have anything to aim for. What will he do now?
Notice that these two stories are widely different but yet they end the same way and that is with the question “What do I do now?”. There is great sadness with this question because you spent so much time and energy working toward your goal and now that you finally achieved it there is now a sense of senselessness in what you worked so hard for. Yet on the flip side of that there is the realization that now you get to begin a new journey and that can be exciting or daunting depending on how you look at it. Exciting in terms of doing something new to give yourself a new sense of meaning and daunting in terms that now you have to basically start over. However, wouldn’t it just end the same with “Now what…”? So why even bother to begin anew if it will just lead full circle back to this emptiness and sense of senselessness? How about we all just live our lives without any goals or aspirations? We all know that sounds wrong but there is some truth to it. The truth is that achieving your goals may not be as fulfilling as you want it to be. Perhaps for some people that victory experience is enough to bring them some modicum of peace and closure. Perhaps for some people it is never enough and will never be enough to bring them any sort of happiness. No matter which type of person you may be, are you going to have a major impact on the world because you scored a touchdown or wore a bikini? Are people going to respect you or acknowledge you? Will you be remembered because of it? Will you be truly happy? My answer to all of those questions: Maybe!
Let’s build off of the two stories from earlier:
Jane Doe finally wore the bikini at the beach for the first time. After some time on the beach Jane noticed other people complimenting her and admiring her confidence. She then was approached by someone who asked her if she competed in women’s figure competitions. She said truthfully no but then realized that she may have a real shot at winning some competitions. So she signed up for her first bodybuilding show happening 8 months later. Now she must practice her posing, put on 4lbs of muscle, and then cut approximately 8lbs of body fat in time to be on stage. Now she has a new adventure ahead of her and has a new sense of meaning. The show finally comes around and at this point Jane is very comfortable in a bikini, has been nailing her posing routines, and trained very hard in the gym 5 days a week. Her hard work yielded a victory on stage at her first bodybuilding show!
John Smith after a month of time off came back to his college because his coach reached out and offered him a graduate assistant coach position that comes with a stipend and tuition remission toward a master’s degree. John graciously and eagerly accepted the position. John now is in a new role within the same sport he became so passionate about. He has a new perspective on what it takes to play football and a new skill set to develop and that is becoming a coach. Along with that was the challenge of acquiring his master’s degree in business. With his studies he eventually decided he was going to start his own business training youth football athletes. So he now had two parallels to follow toward one goal and that was to earn a living as a football coach full time. He started his business and was able to bring on a local youth team and trained them at his facility. John now does what he loves everyday!
You would think that would be the “happily ever after” for both John Smith and Jane Doe. That would certainly make a good story. However you could still add “Now what?” at the end of each story. So we are in a paradox where these goals have great meaning while working toward them but in the end it becomes almost meaningless until we have a new goal. This process seems to continue for our entire lives. So here is something to ponder…perhaps the true meaning of our lives is not in what goals we accomplish but rather the meaning of our lives lie within what we do to work toward them.
So you achieved your goal…Congrats! Now what you may ask?….Now you live in that meaninglessness for a short while and then find a new adventure or be open to the next series of opportunities that may come your way!
Strive for the next “Now what?”.
