People go to the gym because they have experienced some kind of painful realization that they need to work out. You caught a not so flattering glimpse of yourself in the mirror getting out of the shower. It may be you got on the floor to play with your children and realized you can’t get up from the floor unassisted. Perhaps you ran into some old friends from college or high school and quickly found out you were in the worst shape out of everyone in the old friend group. You are a young athlete trying out for a sports team and didn’t make the cut. You found out you have a relatively higher rate of muscular atrophy due to general aging or disease. You found out you are prediabetic during a recent routine physical. You have severely high cholesterol and are at risk for heart disease or rather already have heart disease. You have been going to the gym for over a year or two and are not seeing the progress you want. These among others not mentioned are all things that I have heard from people in my career as a trainer and strength coach. These are examples of the origin stories of everyone’s “gym journey” as I like to call it. I have seen and helped people persevere past these origins of pain but there are times where people still get stuck and that can be extremely discouraging.
The disappointing thing that I have seen in many people over the years is they get super motivated to start because of their “gym journey” origin and they’re good for maybe a few weeks to a few months and then they just simply stop working out. They quit! They quit because they either don’t see the progress that is slowly accumulating over time, they are really feeling how difficult it is and decide to take a break but then complacency sets in, or they get severely discouraged from realizing how truly inadequate they are in the gym. Trust me, I have been humbled in the gym probably thousands of times at this point in my “gym journey” but I can promise you it’s not a reason to quit or to be discouraged.
You can allow yourself to feel discouraged for a short while. However, here is something to ponder; In order for you to become discouraged you must have had to have been courageous first. If you are someone who feels “down”, understand you first must have felt “up”. If you are someone who is feeling disappointed in themselves you must have had to be proud of yourself first. The point I’m trying to make is that if you are feeling this way about your training then that only means you have the capacity to feel the opposite. The “bad” doesn’t exist in the absence of “good” so give yourself some slack. Obviously, it is not as simple as flicking an on/off switch. So yes, you will have to actually put in some effort and work for it.
When you find yourself in this discouraged state there are many ways to pull yourself out of it (that alone should give you some hope). However, I’m going to focus on a single branch of a much greater tree. You can think of your mind as a muscle and a muscle can be trained to get stronger. So what does it mean for a muscle to get stronger? The muscle can now withstand more stress put upon it without failing. There is a similar action and reaction with the mind and that is improving your level of grit.
Grit is typically personified by being tough and walking around stoically unphased by everything life has thrown at you because you can handle larger amounts of stress. I think grit is more of a mix of that and a growth mindset, sense of humor, curiosity, and courage. Yes, there should be a little bit of toughness and stoicism when you are facing discouragement because you can’t be a wimp while facing such challenging things but that is not the only ingredient in the formula. Sometimes it helps to see the comical side of things and that may help pull you out of a space where you are just being too serious about yourself and that may lead to you overcoming discouragement because it is now no longer holding you back but rather you are laughing at it. Other times it helps to be curious about why you feel the way you do and you may end up figuring out the source of your issue and who knows maybe you’ll learn enough about it to be asked to write about it on a fitness blog (see…sense of humor)! And of course, having the courage to face it head on and accept the truth that you may not be as great as you thought you were or as great as you imagined you would become. That doesn’t mean you can’t continue to try to better yourself but once you face the truth that you may have to manage your expectations to be more realistic you will then be in a better position to overcome what is in your way. So long as this all leads to you overcoming and moving forward from discouragement with little to no regression then that to me is what grit is.
So, you must actively practice these things in order to develop your grit and help yourself not to be discouraged as much or how to respond to it better. The only way to practice is to do it! When you feel discouraged or even when you’re not discouraged you must talk to yourself. Talk to yourself in a way that reinforces your toughness, stoicism, sense of humor, curiosity, and courage. Talk to yourself in a way where it seems like you are always looking for a solution or a way forward. I can’t tell you exactly what to say so you will have to discover that for yourself. It will take some trial and error but you must always be consistent in practicing and soon enough your mind will grow in a way where it will be stronger like a muscle.
You already have the capacity to not be discouraged as I mentioned earlier but if you’re stuck then you have to push yourself and challenge your old ways of thinking to get back on the horse so to speak. So talk to yourself and give voice to these thoughts of encouragement, comedy, questions, and validity so that they may be more ingrained in your reactions to stressful situations where you could become discouraged or disappointed.
So, if you ever see me at the Canton location and I’m aggressively talking to myself just before a big bench press just know that I actively and diligently practice what I preach! Hope this helps and hope you keep powering on!
